


You’re Mine for the Eternity

by IzzyGranger



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Carmilla - Freeform, Don't know, F/F, Fluff, and maybe angst?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8263087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzyGranger/pseuds/IzzyGranger
Summary: "She opened her eyes and she saw nothing. She tried again and everything she saw was dark. She was blind. She was sure.She tried to stand up, but her weak wrists didn’t allowed her to, and she fell on the floor. She was about to try again when she felt two strong hands helping her. She had just turned around when the person started to speak."
Permonde <3





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if something is wrong, english is not my first language. But we have few permonde fics here so... i decided to try it. Hope you like it.

She opened her eyes and she saw nothing. She tried again and everything she saw was dark. She was blind. She was sure. All those times she told Lafontaine to stop playing with dangerous chemicals were coming back to her and she was the one who was blind now. Laf would never let her forget this. Laf would remember her of this every single time they decide to go haunting supernatural creatures or to play with really big animals. LAF. Where were them? She tried to stand up, but her weak wrists didn’t allowed her to, and she fell on the floor. She was about to try again when she felt two strong hands helping her. She had just turned around when the person started to speak.

\- I would be lying if I said I’m surprised to see you here. Even with all of your friends’ effort, you were already doomed, little donut – The voice wasn’t exactly strange to her, she just couldn’t put a name on it. She started moving around the place, trying to find out who was she talking to – You look scared, darling. Am I scaring you? - The voice on the shadow must have noticed that Perry wasn’t recognizing her(?), cause it moved itself out of the shadows. 

Perry was going to die, she was now sure of it, she wouldn’t survive this one. Mattie Belmonde started to move towards her and she was panicking (What would Lafontaine do?). The older woman stopped so close to her, that she was sure her possible murderer could hear her heartbeat, and then she realized she didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. She was dead, 5 foot under the ground dead, no heartbeat, no human heat, just a cold body. She would never see her friends again. She would never tell Laura one more time how bad her idea was; Carmilla’s “I’m too cool for you” temper would never intimidate her again. She would never have the opportunity to hug Danny once more, the hugs than she was only allowed to give when Danny thought no one was looking, and when someone did see it she’d listen to her friend telling everybody that she flipped and Perry was just avoiding her fall. She would never have the chance to tell Lafontaine she has been in love with them since they were both fifteen and Lafontaine kept all the boys away from Perry in her birthday party. She would never have the chance to apologize to them for taking too long to understand the gender thing. Their lips are never going to meet hers, because she is dead. She is dead and, wherever she is, they couldn’t find her. She was alone now, and it’s going to be like this forever.

She didn’t realized she was crying until Mattie’s right hand was on her face, wiping a tear away.

\- Don’t cry, little dove, if your friends are alive is because you saved them. They’ll remember you forever –Perry wanted to ask her how did she know that she was thinking about them, but maybe that was just too obvious – Come, I’ll show you around – she offers you her hand, and even though you’re terrified, you accepts. She smiles at you and the fear in your stomach just grows. She’s not going to kill you (just because that’s not possible, you think), but she’s not going to forget the holy water thing. You’re going to pay for that, and you know it. She shows you the few places you can go and by the end of the walk you are very confused. This was supposed to be the afterlife, the place you would pay for every bad thing you’ve done while living, but everything you saw just brings you happy memories. Maybe that’s her plan, to make you think in all your good memories so she can take them away from you, take laf away from you. NO, she is NOT going to take them, no one will. So you try to clean your mind and think in what’s in from of you, your suite. It’s really big for a person alone actually: two king beds, a huge wardrobe, an equally huge bathroom and, your favorite part, a very cute kitchen. Again, Mattie catches you by surprise when she gets out of the kitchen with a bag witch you assume is filled with food and handles it to you.

\- – Eat, honey, you must be hungry after all that walk – you stare at her hesitating, and she suddenly decides to finally talk to you about the way to much dark for your eyes place . – Look, I’m not going to kill you if that’s what you’re worried about, you are already dead if you don’t remember. And, please, eat some food. –Rude, you think to yourself, but you obey. You ARE hungry, after all. She sits down in the king bed on your right and looks at you so you would do the same. You look at her and sits in the king bed on your left, so you can have a safe distance from her. She notices it and gives you an eye roll and a small smile. – So, you must want to know about all of this right? – she points the place around you and you just nod. – Well, in spite of what you should be thinking this is the good place. The place where the good girls like you stay after they complete their journey on earth or some shit. You are here because you did all the good things someone can think about doing while you lived. Believe me, I read your file. Seriously? You baked brownies for homeless people? – You remembered that day, you wanted to give them 100 brownies, but laf hid 20 somewhere and you just gave them 80. You can’t help but smile.– And that’s it, sweetie, you were good while you lived and now that you’re dead people are going to be good to you. Simple as that. – Lola really tried to contain herself, but it was stronger than her.

\- If only good people stay here – you pause, because this is a terrible idea and she will take you to hell for it – why are you here? –she stares at you, and you get very uncomfortable with that. She could scream at you, or laugh at your stupid bravery but she keep staring until she talks.

\- You’re going to find out that I’m not that bitch you and your tiny annoying friend think I am. –she gives you a look that you can swear could open holes in your soul.- But maybe you need time, little daisy, and I’m very patient with the things I want –she give you another one of those looks, the ones that make the fear in your stomach to grow. You stare the window, so she can look somewhere else, and when you turn your eyes back at her, she’s lying in the bed. Is your turn to stare at her now, but questioning stares, not the creepy ones that she gave you. – What, little doll? Is there any problem if I stay here lying on my bed after a day of work? –you open your mouth to answer her but than you process what she said. “my bed”. Oh no, this is totally not happening – I’m your roommate, sweetheart – Yep, it’s happening and is awful. What did she do to deserve Mattie Belmonde as her roommate? There wasn’t any serial killer available? Mattie gives you a wink and you throw yourself on the bed wishing the dean had possessed someone else, someone who would be able to survive an eternity with this woman as a roommate, not Lola Perry, the sweet one of the group. But there wasn’t anything she could do now, just wish that eternity is fast.


	2. Peace offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the mistakes. Hope you like it.

100 years. 100 months. 100 days. She doesn’t know how long exactly, but she is sure she had spent way too much time near HER. Since they’re kind of roommates, she can’t avoid her presence ALL the time, but she tries. Matska on the other hand, seems very happy to be around every time she cans and it’s pissing Perry off. Every day, when Perry wakes up, Mastka is still asleep, and Perry tries to do everything she needs to do in the bedroom before she wakes up. It never works. Every time Perry is finishing her shower, the beast wakes up. It’s like she has an alarm clock inside her mind that rings every time Perry is taking a shower, or gets naked actually. Seriously, all it takes is Perry to take her clothes off and Matska suddenly appears in the room, her eyes making their way up Perry’s legs. Perry hates that, and she hates even more the smirk that’s on the woman’s lips when her eyes get to her belly.” C’mon, she lived for centuries; she must have seen thousands of bellies during that”. WHY CAN’T SHE STARE AT SOMEONE ELSE’S BELLY? Why hers? Perry doesn’t get it, she always tried to be nice to everyone, always took care of her friends when they were trying to do something stupid, what did she do to deserve Matska Belmonde as her after life roommate?

  
As if the shameless glances weren’t enough, Matska always left all the cleaning of the room for Perry, even the cleaning of her own part of the room. She was brazen to the level she would ask Perry if she could clean faster the next time so she could invite someone over. Perry thought it was weird of her to ask that, since she usually spends all the cleaning time eating Perry with her eyes. But despite of that, she never brought someone over, she just wanted to look cool and act like the “I can have anyone” girl Perry always thought she was. Perry still thinks she COULD have any girl she wanted but, after knowing her a little better, she realized Matska doesn’t want to, she just says that so Perry would be mad.

  
That’s other thing Perry doesn’t get: Why is she always trying to let Perry mad? She is always doing things she knows Perry hates and pretending not to know WHEN SHE DOES KNOW. And even with all of that, she still tries to have a “nice” coexistence with Matska…no, not Matska, she’d said a hundred times already, she prefers to be called Mattie. See? She is even trying to use the name Mattie prefers! That shows how much she is trying, right? Because Lola Perry likes things in their normal way and if she is trying to change that is because she really cares. I mean, not that she cares about Mattie, cause she totally doesn’t, she just cares about their coexistence that might last a really long time. And it’s because of said coexistence that she’s making mulberry cupcakes to use as a peace offer to Mattie, even though she hates mulberries. Not that she had payed attention to Mattie’s purchases at the bakery; it wasn’t that, she just has a really good memory and remembered that Mattie told her that “mulberry would be a lot better than the blue ones in those little cakes you make”.

  
The cupcakes had just got ready when Mattie entered the room with a really bad face. A “I’ll punch you in the face if you don’t get out of my way” kind of bad face. Perry was froze in that moment. What if Mattie wasn’t’ in the mood for making peace? What if the cupcakes were bad? She hates mulberries so even if she did had a taste, it would feel awful in her mouth. It could make Mattie’s humor get even worse, and she didn’t need that now. But she had to try, so she took a long breath and greeted Mattie with her best smile.

**Perry’s POV**

  
\- _Hi, Mattie_ – Mattie answers you with a growl – _Did something happened?_ \- silence is all you get, so you decide to go straight to the point – _I made cupcakes, wanna try some?_ – your hands were shaking on your legs, your plan wasn’t working at all.

  
\- _Oh, honey, I already told you blueberry is not my thing_ – She says that with a bored voice. You don’t give up and, with a nervous smile on your face, you take a step closer.

  
\- _Hm, I kind of….. hm, made some different ones today if you want to have a taste_ – The look in Mattie’s face changed the minute you said that, she was curious. Good, you thought, now I just need to pray they taste good.

  
\- _Breathe, kitty cat_. – You snap yourself out of your thoughts and look at her - _Well, since you insist on having my opinion, and since my day was so bad that it couldn’t get any worse, I’ll try some_ – Kind of rude, but you still managed to plant the seed of curiosity in her, that’s something. You turn around and go get the cupcakes in the kitchen, once you have them you take a deep breath and bring them to the bedroom, leaving them on Mattie’s bed. She looks at you and them turns her glance in the direction of the cupcakes. If this were any other situation, you’d be confident, because your cupcakes were “the best of Silas” according to Laura. The thing is, it’s not any other situation and this is Mattie we’re talking about, and it’s never like any other when it comes to Matska Belmonde. She takes the cupcake on the bottom and stares at it (“of course she’d pick the bottom one, she is always trying to change the natural way of things”). She takes a bite and says nothing, you can’t even hear her chewing. The silence that follows is agonizing and you suddenly regret doing this, you should’ve kept things the way they were but no, you had to make your situation with Mattie even worse. When she’s finished the cupcake, she looks at you. You’re so nervous it makes your hands sweat, and she waits an agonizing amount of time to speak something – _Well, it looks that you finally learned how to make one of these, Ma Chèri. These are way better than the other ones_ – You let go the breath you were holding since you left the plate with the cupcakes in front of her, thanks God she liked them – _But, I need to ask you_ – Oh, crap. It was way too easy, wasn’t it? - _Unless I’m very much mistaken, weren’t you all anti-mulberry?_

  
\- _Hm.. yeah. It’s hm.. not my favorite_ – You watch her as she gets up from her bed, with a smirk on her face as moves towards you. She stops just a few inches from you, and you’re suddenly aware of your messy hair and your kneaded clothes. She stares at you like you’re her prey, eyes hungry but at the same time entertained with the situation. That’s nothing you want more right now than rip that smirk off her face, she looked so full of herself with that, it was getting on your nerves already. If she was still a vampire, you’d probably be running by now, but she is not and that’s what keeps you there, waiting for her move.

  
\- _Oh, honey, so you made them just for me? How nice of you_ – You gulps. You’re happy she liked them because it means your plan worked, but she was still so close to you that you could feel her breath – _May I know what I did to deserve such gentleness from you?_ –  "You've been a bitch". The air around you was heavy, you could feel her breath meeting your skin, which made your breath stuck in your throat and you feel like you’re suffocating. You force the words to get out of your mouth, trying to get this feeling away.

  
- _I- I thought that since our, hm, coexistence hasn’t been the best of all I could, hm, try to be nice to you and you could, hm, try to do the same?_ – You didn’t sound so confident in your offer, but you really hope that would do. She brought her index finger to hour mouth, as if considering the offer. Good, at least it wasn’t a no so there is still hope. She took a couple seconds to decide, and you could almost hear the “click” in her mind when she did.

  
\- _Well, you do have a point, Kitty cat._ – you keep staring at her, waiting for her to finish – _And the little cakes were very tasty._ – You can’t help but blush at that, you blush every time someone compliments you – _I agree with you, we need to get along better_ – You almost jumps at that, her bad mood was driving you crazy. – _And that’s why_ – She touches your arm with her fingertips .– _I want to take you somewhere, as a thank you_ .– And you just turned mute. Where would she take you? You know every place there is to know by now. Actually, she was the one that showed you some of them. Where would you go? She offers you a hand, and when she sees your hesitation, she sighs – _I’m not going to wait forever, baby doll. You said it yourself, we need to get along better. And if we’re going to make this happen, you’ll have to trust me too._ – You hate to admit it, but she’s right. You’ll need to trust her too, and you’ll need to bend a little bit too. You don’t want you, but you will. You take her hand and she gives you a smile. – _Good, girl. C’mon, my dear, I know exactly where to take you_ – She says that with a smirk and you instantly regret your choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is always welcome ;)


	3. The Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - To understand this chapter, you guys need to think of the after life place as a small town, with one big park in the center. And Permonde live in an apartment not far from this park.
> 
> 2 - I wanted to do a really big chapter and post all the end of the fic once, but i didn't have all the time i thought i would and that wasn't possible. So here's chapter 3.

You weren’t happy with the “let’s go for a walk” thing Mattie proposed you. You were looking forward to the moment you would be entering your room and taking a long relaxing bath. But that is not going to happen anytime soon because, sadly, you had left the room just a minute ago and if the look on Mattie’s face means something, your walk would last a good amount of time. Mattie is walking as graceful as always, her face in the right inclination so her skin is kissed by the sunlight, giving her the “I’m a Greek goddess” look that follows her wherever she goes, apparently. You take way too long time to realize you were staring at her, staring at your “was once an ancient vampire that tried to kill you” roommate. You look down immediately, praying God she hadn’t caught you staring.

Apparently, she had not, cause she just keeps walking down the street, as if all of this is normal to her, like she does it frequently. IT being walking with girls that would give their left hand to be anywhere but here. Then it hits you that she probably had other roommates in the past and probably all of them changed rooms. That would totally explain why it looks normal to her walk down this street with a girl that doesn’t like her, she must have done it a lot of times already. A couple of minutes later, she interrupts your thoughts, and you notice you arrived at the park. It’s a sunny evening, so that’s probably the reason the park is crowded, you think. You look around, scanning the park a little more. You see the ice cream van parked not that far from where you are, and you also see the crowd of kids that circles it. That makes you remember of the times you and Lafontaine were five and laf bought you a strawberry ice cream and a chocolate one for themselves, but they dropped theirs soon after they gave you yours. Their sad face was so heartbreaking that you offered them yours, but they only accepted after you agreed you’d both share. You smile at that memory, but Mattie interrupts you as she turns at you as she speaks:

\- Those cupcakes of yours were very savory, baby mouse. I’m flattered you made them just for me, and you don’t even like mulberry. – Even when she was thanking you she looked so full of herself, it’s what you hate the most in her. Everything she said was right thought, you did make them just for her, and you do not like mulberry. But even if she’s right, you don’t have a clue about where this conversation was going, and that scares you. – So, according to my values, is my duty to return the kindness and I know exactly where to take you. – she gives you her arm and, even though you think this walk can’t end soon enough, you take it. She starts walking again, leading you to the smallest of the streets here, the fancy one you never wanted to know. Of course she would take you there, is so her to do that! Who else would go to fancy restaurants when you could cook your own meal? Mattie Belmonde would!

You look at her as if asking why you’re here, but she doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she just ignores you. She doesn’t even look on your face until you are in front of a ~~too fancy to have good brownies~~ coffee shop. It’s not that it doesn’t look great, cuz it does, it’s just that everybody knows that homemade bakery is always better, no matter how expensive the coffee shop might be. If you weren’t excited before, now you almost couldn’t hide your lack of enthusiasm. It was all so evident on your face that if she wasn’t so satisfied with herself for thinking in bringing you here, she would have noticed for sure. She gives you space so you can enter first, and follows you right after. _“Now she wants to be nice?”._ But her moment of chivalry ends right after that, when she guides you to a table a little bit too isolated to your taste.

If you’re still alive you would probably have asked to change your table, stating that if a fire began you would probably die or if any of you wanted to use the toilet you would need to cross the entire place to do so. But you’re not alive anymore, you remind yourself, nothing could kill you because you’re already dead. So, instead of being stubborn, you just sit down and start to read the menu. It doesn’t take long before you realize that an awkward silence was hovering among you two, and that realization made you pull down the menu and look at Mattie. She was looking at you, back straight, with her fingers delicately rested on her chin, and her other hand on her lap. She looked like a empress right now, beautiful but powerful, intimidating even. You try to maintain her stare, but it gets uncomfortable very quick and your eyes travel around the place. Since she failed in keeping your attention on her, she decides to speak

. - Liked the place, kitty cat? – _“Not really.”_

\- Hm.. Yes, it’s very, hm, different. – Gods, you hope she doesn’t feel offended. You don’t need a former evil vampire to think you offended her. She doesn’t look offended though, which is good. She just gives you a small smile and continues her talking.

\- Yes, I thought it might be different to you. – _“Is this an insult? Is she trying to humiliate me?”_ \- That wasn’t an insult, sweetheart. – _“is she reading my mind?”_ – And I’m not reading your mind, you just have a very expressive face. You can’t hide your emotions very well, you know that? – You curse yourself internally, and try to compose yourself again so you can have a conversation where she doesn’t know your answer before you even say a word. - I noticed how you’re always doing home stuff in our bedroom, when you’re not baking, you’re cleaning, and when you’re not cleaning, you’re baking. You never take time to something that might bring you some entertainment, that’s why I brought you here, dear. I thought that since you don’t have fun on your own, I could help you with that bringing you to the best coffee shop here.

You should have thanked her, you know you that, she was trying to help you, in a Mattie way, but she was. But you couldn’t help yourself of being caught up in the commentary she did about your life. You do know you spend a lot of time of your afterlife cleaning and baking, but you never realized it was that much of time. When you’re alive you always had an injured Lafontaine to take care of; or a test you needed to study to; or even a fairy queen you needed to defeat. Now, without Lafontaine and without all the supernatural things around you, you had nothing to do. No injured best friend to take care of, because your best friend were alive; no test to study to because the dead don’t need a degree; and no fairy queen to defeat, because fairies don’t exist for the dead and you lost your power when you sacrificed yourself. You’re alone, bored and powerless. All you have now is a terrible roommate and all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, comments are always good.


	4. News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry learns some new things about her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it.  
> Next chapter Permonde will be, you know, Permonde.

After what looked like an eternity, you finally get out of your head and come back to the present. Mattie is still looking at you with that entertained look she gives you all the time, even after you spent a good amount of time in silence thinking about what she told you. It was really rude to do that when she was trying to be nice to you but you couldn’t control, It took you by surprise.  But after all that thinking, you knew you had to change from now on. You need to know more people; you need to get out of your bedroom more; you need to get out of your comfort zone. The problem is, you like comfort and normal, change is more difficult to you than to everyone else. But you need to try, otherwise you would go mad, if that’s even possible in your case. And you’re determined to start it now, being nice to the woman in front of you.

\- Hm, sorry, Mattie. I zooned out for a minute – She grins at you and nods.

\- No problem, dear. – you want to make sure you’re in a neutral place before you start you’re “meeting”, so you try to make sure your regrets are real.

-But that was ru.. – You try to redeem yourself but she doesn’t even let you finish it.

-That was nothing. You’re still getting used to this “life” – She points to the place around you. - It’s more normal that you think, honey. – _“But it’s not that easy to do it”._ She seems to notice your reaction, cuz she grins again when she handles you the menu. _–_ I think we better do what I brought you here to do. Shall we choose our food?

You just nod and accepts the menu she was handing you. You start to read the menu and you get quickly impressed. If you were still alive, this meal would cost you your eyeballs. But the good part in this afterlife is: you don’t pay for your meal. You don’t pay for anything, actually. If this was a normal day, you would order the same as always: a latte and a lemon pie. Since this is obviously a _not normal_ day, and since you decided a couple of minutes ago you needed to change certain things, you will change your order, radically. You look thru the window, it’s a sunny day outside, people are enjoying it the way they prefer. The children are playing soccer in the middle of the street, the teens are listening to music while chatting in groups, and the adults are enjoying the day to date with their afterlife beloveds. All of that while you’re on a meeting with your stubborn roommate. _“What a day to be ali….hm…. Forget it”._ After you had read the menu about 5 times, Mattie clears her throat.

\- Have you decided what you want to eat, sweetheart? – You have not, but you nod anyway.- Good, I need my pineapple juice soon otherwise I will melt with all this sun. _–“the sun still isn’t her best friend, huh? Typical Mattie, she’s not a vampire anymore but still have vampire habits”._ Mattie does a sign with her hand to the waitress that was near the balcony. The girl was not much younger than you and much taller, she had her brown hair falling down her shoulders and she looked a little nervous. When she gets to your table, she turns to Mattie to ask for her order. – I want a pineapple juice and a shrimp pie. – She writes down Mattie’s order and turns toward you, but looking to the ground. You wait to see if she’ll look at you so you can say your order but she doesn’t even mention to change her position. You’re confused, you never saw this girl in your life, but she looks almost scared. Why would she look scared? You two never even met! You look at Mattie and she seems to notice the girl’s actions too, cuz she is studying her, as if trying to solve the mystery. You know Mattie well enough to know that, if the girl stays like this a little longer, Mattie will start to make comments, the not very nice type of comments she loves to make. So you just ignores the way the girl is acting towards you and starts to order.

 - I would like some grape juice and a slice of chicken pie, please. – The girl blushes a deep red while nods at you. She finds courage to speak something.

 - Anything else? – She looks between Mattie and the ground, but not at you. That’s when you get it. _“How didn’t I noticed that before? Mattie knows her, it’s the only explanation”_. Before you can say anything Mattie does a sign to the girl, sending her away. You turn to her, wanting to know more about what happened.

 - Seriously? – She looks at you with a confused face. – What did you do to that poor girl? - She still looked confused af. – Don’t use that confused face with me, it didn’t worked when you were an ancient thirsty vampire, it won’t work now. – Her expression changed from confused to something lighter, amusement. You wanted to slap her so the amusement would get out of her face, but that would be anti-Perry. She was totally getting on your nerves. – Stop looking at me like I’m a Kardashian! I’m not your private reality show. – Ok, you’re letting your issues out. “ _Control yourself, Perry”._ Mattie puts her hands up, on surrender.

 - As hard as it might be to you, darling, I had never met this girl until now. – You frown. If Mattie never met the girl, why was she all nervous and not looking into Perry’s eyes?

 - If you never met her, why was she so nervous? She was shaking, as red as a tomato and she didn’t look into my eyes even once. It was like if she knew you’re once an evil vampire and I was a… - She raises her brows – poor, hm, frightened girl who just wanted everything to be normal. – You tried to fix it the moment it got out of your mouth, but she raises her brow again, not buying it. _“Awesome! All I needed was one more subject for her to mess with me.”_ She watches you a little longer, expecting you to say something. When you stay silent, she smirks and shakes her head, giving up. “ _At least for now I’m safe of her questions”._  

\- You staked a vampire, - “ _Witch Laf brought back to life. - ”_ you’re possessed by a God – _“Yeah, I was. And it took me several months to realize that possessing was what was happening inside my head”. -_ , you DIED to protect your friends from said God – “ _And now I’m stuck with you until the end of days. Great”. -_ but you still can’t say when someone shows interest. – “ _What? Is she on crack?”. She smiles and look at you. –_ You don’t even have a clue, do you? – You shake your head. You didn’t noticed the girl’s interest in you, you thought her nervous way was because of Mattie’s presence, which you would totally understand. Mattie still freaks YOU out sometimes. You try to say something but nothing that makes sense leave your lips. – Even with all of those girls at Silas drooling over you, you have no idea how attractive you are. – It wasn’t a question, it was an affirmation. You never thought of yourself as an attractive person, and that’s why when people fancied you, you never noticed. That’s why you never said anything to Lafontaine, cuz you never believe they would want someone like you, with nothing special. You read in a book once, that we accept the love we think we deserve, and that applies perfectly in your case. You never believe someone would want you, someone would desire you, because you never felt like you were worth it. You hid the real you from your best friend, you never told them about your powers. You had a good reason for that, they are crazy about supernatural things, they would have loved to know that but you wanted them to want you for you and you only, not because of some cool spells you were capable of doing. And now, Mattie just said something that contradicts all of that. With a couple of words, she made you think again, reconsidering what you thought since you were a teenager. She finds you attractive, and she insinuated there are others that do too. You don’t understand why she’s saying these things to you, but you need to make her stop.

 - I, hm, don’t know what you’re talking about, Mattie. – Not very good, you know that. But at least you were able to form words, which is an advance. She smiles again, amusement written all over her face.

 - Oh, darling, you should really pay more attention to what happens around you. – She just confuses you even more. – You had a line of girls waiting for you to throw them a wink so they could date you. – _“If Insanity is not possible in the afterlife, Mattie is the first case and I just witnessed it”._

 _-_ What are you talking about? There wasn’t any girl waiting for me to do anything, no one noticed me in that university. – She groans, showing all of her frustration.

 - You don’t really have any idea, do you? – Her voice is louder than before. – All the Summer Society girls, your nerd little friend, even that curly haired one, what was her name again? – She was thinking, as trying to figure out the name. You started to think too, but the only curly haired girl Mattie knew besides you were… - Mel! That’s her name. – “ _What?”._

 - What? Mel never… - she cuts you off.

 - Yeah, she did. So did all of the others. They threw themselves at you, begging for your attention. Hoping they’d have a chance.- Her jaw was tense, she was angry. But why?- But you only had eyes for that creepy little gir.. – You cut her off this time, she doesn’t have the right to talk about Lafontaine.

 - If they were so interested as you claim them to be, they would have looked for me and tried something, which they didn’t. So stop talking about what you don’t know. – Her eyes changed, they were darker, if that’s even possible. She

\- Oh, honey, believe me I know what I’m talking about. I noticed the way they looked at you, all the sighs they gave when you walked by. It’s the same way….- She groans again. She was getting angrier and angrier, and you were scared and confused. She had no reason to be that angry with your oblivious self. - And you would have noticed all that too if you had just looked around to see what was right in front of you! – With that, she stormed out of the coffee shop, letting you more confused than ever. Her words keep coming back on an endlessly loop in your head, so you stand up and go after her. She really needs to explain you all that happened here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lack of comments :(


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